托福寫作----連貫性

在托福獨(dú)立寫作的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中，第三點(diǎn)明確出托福作文應(yīng)該注重整體性、漸進(jìn)性以及連貫性。

Score: 5

An essay at this level largely accomplishes all the following:

1） Effectively addresses the topic and task

2） Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations,

exemplifications, and /or details

3） Displays unity, progression, and coherence

4）Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors. 

那么什么是連貫性？如何提高文章的連貫性呢？

一、意思上的連貫

在段落寫作的時(shí)候，段落要有一致的寫作對(duì)象，全段圍繞一個(gè)點(diǎn)展開，且敘述有一定的順序，這樣讀者才能很好地跟隨作者思路。例如：

Humans need to use all of the land they can gain access to. As the planet's population continues to grow, people need to move onto land that was previously occupied only by animals. In many countries, there are large numbers of cities with over a million people. In fact, some cities, like Tokyo, Seoul, and New York, have populations of over ten million. These cities are overcrowded, so many people need to move out of them and onto new lands. While they may be moving to lands that are inhabited by endangered animals, the welfare of humans Is much more important than that of a few endangered animals. People have to take care of Earth's expanding population, and the best way to enable people to live more comfortably is to move onto lands inhabited animals.

在這個(gè)段落中，作者圍繞著一個(gè)主題在展開——人類需要去利用那些他們能夠使用的土地。為什么呢？后面就開始解釋了：因?yàn)榈厍蛉丝谧兌�，人們需要更多土地，例如東京、紐約等地。最后總結(jié)，隨著人類的擴(kuò)張，需要使用更多的土地。作文行文非常流暢，段落至始至終都在描述同意寫作對(duì)象，意思上很連貫。

二、邏輯關(guān)系的連貫。

在一個(gè)段落的描述中，作者的邏輯隨時(shí)都在變化，讀者作為被動(dòng)的群體，作者向東，讀者也需要向東。如果作者的邏輯變地太快、太頻繁，讀者很容易就會(huì)跟丟。所以我們?cè)趯懽鞯臅r(shí)候必須要加上邏輯詞，以此為路標(biāo)，讀者會(huì)更容易發(fā)現(xiàn)我們邏輯的轉(zhuǎn)變。

例如：

When marine organisms called phytoplankton photosynthesize, they absorb carbon

dioxide dissolved in seawater, potentially causing a reduction in the concentration of

atmospheric carbon dioxide, a gas that contributes to global warming. However, phy-

toplankton flourish only in surface waters where iron levels are sufficiently high. Mar-

tin therefore hypothesized that adding iron to iron-poor regions of the ocean could

help alleviate global warming. While experiments subsequently confirmed that such a

procedure increases phytoplankton growth, field tests have shown that such growth

does not significantly lower atmospheric carbon dioxide. When phytoplankton utilize

carbon dioxide for photosynthesis, the carbon becomes a building block for organic

matter, but the carbon leaks back into the atmosphere when predators consume the

phytoplankton and respire carbon dioxide.

文中這幾個(gè)邏輯詞和好地只是了作者思路的改變：浮游植物光合作用會(huì)吸收二氧化碳----但僅僅在那些鐵含量比較高的地方-----所以Martin做出了推測(cè)----盡管有些實(shí)驗(yàn)可以支持他的觀點(diǎn)，但是接下來的實(shí)驗(yàn)卻支持并不能降低二氧化碳含量：它們光合作用可以降低二氧化碳含量，但是被吃了之后，二氧化碳又回到大氣中去。

從上文中，我們?cè)谶壿嬙~中看到了文章作者思路如何轉(zhuǎn)變。在寫作的時(shí)候，我們也需要這些邏輯詞，幫助我們引導(dǎo)讀者，讓他們讀起來更加通順。

三、舊信息在前，新信息在后。

在寫作的時(shí)候，為了讓讀者能夠更好地緊跟作者思路，作者會(huì)調(diào)整寫作信息的順序，把以前提到過的信息放在前面，把舊信息放在后面。這樣讀者就不會(huì)因?yàn)橥蝗怀霈F(xiàn)的新信息而感到手足無措。例如：

(1) Average life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world over the last one hundred years. (2) Improvements in medicine and higher standards of living are the main reasons for this. 

第二個(gè)句子以improvements in medicine對(duì)于第一句來說，是一個(gè)新的內(nèi)容，放在句首顯得有一些突然。如果我們把它變?yōu)?(1) Average life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world over the last one hundred years.  (2) The main reasons for this are improvements in medicine and higher standards of living. 就會(huì)比較自然。第二句里的this與前面的信息有對(duì)應(yīng)，屬于舊信息。

改完之后，我們繼續(xù)：(1) Average life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world over the last one hundred years.  (2) The main reasons for this are improvements in medicine and higher standards of living. (3) Yet despite these changes, the maximum human lifespan of about 120 years has not increased. (4) However, delaying the process of growing old may make it possible to extend this limit. 

第三句與前面銜接良好，但第四句與第三句的銜接就弱了。我們應(yīng)該把第四句改為(4) However, it may be possible to extend this limit by delaying the process of growing old.  把this limit放在前這樣銜接會(huì)更為流暢。

接下來我們看第五句：(5) Genetic engineering may be one way of slowing down the process.這句話與改后的第四句又銜接不到位，Genetic engineering 是新內(nèi)容，我們?cè)賮硇薷?5) One way of slowing down the process may be by genetic engineering. 這時(shí)候首先出現(xiàn)的是the process, 這個(gè)時(shí)候就非常合適了。

綜上所述，如果我們要把段落寫的更加連貫，可以從三個(gè)方面入手：

1）段落句子間意思連貫

2）邏輯連貫

3）舊信息在，新信息在后。

作者簡(jiǎn)介：賴曉安，男，1985年7月8日生�，F(xiàn)任職新通廣東分公司。

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