托福寫(xiě)作的一致性與漸進(jìn)性如何保證？

對(duì)托福考試有一定經(jīng)驗(yàn)的同學(xué)們一定都對(duì)的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)非常熟悉。托福寫(xiě)作的滿分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)有一條就是文章的unity,progression和coherence，也就是一致性、漸進(jìn)性以及邏輯關(guān)系。今天我們就來(lái)聊聊前兩條，即如何保證一致性與漸進(jìn)性。

首先我們來(lái)講講Unity，這里表示的是一致性，而這種一致性其實(shí)有兩層含義：第一個(gè)你的文章是否相關(guān)，第二個(gè)是你的文章是否完整。

我們之前講結(jié)構(gòu)的時(shí)候就提到，每一段你要表達(dá)的觀點(diǎn)我們是不是就叫topic sentence對(duì)吧？那么，通常我們就會(huì)用這個(gè)topic sentence來(lái)表達(dá)你想要論述的central theme，然后接下來(lái)的論述我們就要體現(xiàn)與我們central theme的相關(guān)性，簡(jiǎn)而言之就是沒(méi)有關(guān)系的話少說(shuō)。

就比如，我要跟別人說(shuō)XXX今天又贏我錢(qián)了。唉，都是那一牌，早知道就不應(yīng)該打紅中的。然后接下來(lái)我的文章是不是就都應(yīng)該是繼續(xù)說(shuō)我那一牌怎么就打了紅中的。但如果這時(shí)候我中間加了句誰(shuí)誰(shuí)杠了個(gè)啥，這是不是就是跟這個(gè)故事不相干了？這樣的句子，也就是跟主旨不相干的話語(yǔ)，就不應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)在段落中，這就是unity的第一層意思。

至于第二層意思其實(shí)也很好理解，還是拿剛才的例子，假如沒(méi)有任何鋪墊的，我飄進(jìn)來(lái)跟你說(shuō)一句XXX又贏我錢(qián)了，我就不該打紅中的！然后沒(méi)有任何解釋我就走了，留下一臉懵逼的你。這是不是就是不完整，典型的吊胃口對(duì)吧？

這樣講比較極端，很多同學(xué)會(huì)想，我怎么可能犯這種錯(cuò)誤嘛，然而實(shí)際上很多時(shí)候童鞋們寫(xiě)著寫(xiě)著就容易落到這些陷阱里面去，讓我們看看下面這個(gè)同學(xué)寫(xiě)的文章就很好知道了：

My most frustrating job was cooking for a local fast food restaurant during my junior year in high school. No matter how hard I tried, I never could cook what the menu said because the food company always delivered the wrong food or brought it late. I also was frustrated because I had trouble estimating how much food to cook. Many times we ran short of hamburgers or had to throw away pounds and pounds of french fries. Sometimes we ate the extra french fries, though, and we’d sit around, joking and having a good time. The worst thing, however, was the condition of my clothes after the meal was over. Even if I hadn’t spilled anything (and I usually had spilled some kind of sauce), my clothes smelled awful. I’d want to go home to change before going anyplace else. Some of the managers also spilled food and wanted to change, too. No wonder, then, I thought cooking in a fast food restaurant was frustrating.

請(qǐng)注意劃線部分的句子，文章的主題是想要吐槽快餐店的打工體驗(yàn)很糟糕，可是寫(xiě)著寫(xiě)著居然變成了排排坐，愉快的玩耍，是不是就與主題無(wú)關(guān)了。至于第二個(gè)劃線句其實(shí)也顯得有些多余，這里重點(diǎn)要講的是自己的體驗(yàn)，把別人加進(jìn)來(lái)就有些突兀，而且也并沒(méi)有增加論證的說(shuō)服力，屬于比較冗余的細(xì)節(jié)。

講完了Unity，還有點(diǎn)篇幅我們可以再講講progression：

A paragraph which demonstrates progression should offer readers the process of developing gradually from one stage or state to another; in other words, the details of arguments are expected to come in a series.

何為come in a series？其實(shí)就是指的是你的論述的漸進(jìn)性，你文章的表達(dá)是有層次的，按照一定邏輯順序?qū)訉舆f進(jìn)的。我們可以看看下面這個(gè)例子：

Right now we are seeing a golden age of technology, using it all the time during our everyday lives. When we get up there’s instant coffee and the microwave and all these great things that help us get ready for our day. But we aren’t allowing our minds to deteriorate by using them, we are only making things easier for ourselves and saving time for other important things in our days. Going off to school or work in our cars instead of a horse and buggy. Think of the brain power and genius that was used to come up with that single invention that has changed the way we move across this globe.

這段話首先講的是科技改變生活，然后舉了速溶咖啡和微波爐的例子顯示了科技使我們的生活更方便，然后就來(lái)了一個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)折，說(shuō)是科技并沒(méi)有讓我們的腦子生銹，只是讓我們有更多的時(shí)間和精力去做一些更重要的事情。文章講到這里邏輯都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，可是從劃線的句子開(kāi)始，我們可以看到作者又回過(guò)頭去論述開(kāi)車(chē)節(jié)省了我們的時(shí)間，改變了我們出行的方式，這就顯得很突兀，很沒(méi)有邏輯，不應(yīng)該跟在前面的那個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)折句后面。

同樣的，考官在閱卷的時(shí)候，如果覺(jué)得你寫(xiě)的某一句話很突兀的話，就絕對(duì)不會(huì)給你高分的，所以童鞋們?cè)趯?xiě)作的時(shí)候一定要特別注意整體論述的漸進(jìn)關(guān)系。

以上就是我們對(duì)一致性與漸進(jìn)性的分析。最后一個(gè)coherence比較復(fù)雜，我們會(huì)有一篇專(zhuān)門(mén)的文章來(lái)講解這個(gè)問(wèn)題，敬請(qǐng)期待。

看完這些假如你還有疑問(wèn)，不妨點(diǎn)擊下面圖標(biāo)，與在線教師單獨(dú)溝通↓↓

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