托福寫作拿滿分難嗎？

很多同學都是差一點可以拿到的滿分，但是差那么一點點是在哪里呢？為了讓各位同學淡定得面對，今天小編我就拿了一個作文題目，一步步的給你們分析一下~這樣如何拿到托福寫作的滿分！

作文題目：

Do you agree or disagree   with the following statement?
For success in a future   job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying   hard in school
 
作文內(nèi)容：
 
It is a truth   universally acknowledged, that a young man in school must be in want to make   good preparation for the future job. However, littlefew修飾可數(shù)名詞can easily make a choice between constructing solid network and   studying hard. For me , I hold the idea that hardworking is still the   students’ priority這里只是小建議哈可以換成give priority to這個短語更好.   Sometimes, the network perhaps be helpful, however, the things one gets   through the process of hardworking are invaluable.
 
前面最好有一個邏輯標志性的次“首先”The knowledge learnt from the school are the base of one’s career,   in other words, the more endeavor one has paid in school, the more potential   one will have in his future job. This is because what the employers value is   still the employee’s ability which is determined by how hardworking he was at   school.這一塊舉例那么最好也有一個比如說這樣的詞If one did not spend enough in English studying in school, no   company will be in favor of him since what Google translator can do is far   more beyond than what he can do. If one is not mastered本來就是個形容詞 in his own major,he will have no competitiveness   compared withto   others who are sophisticated with表達有點中式話建議使用be   proficient in their major   through their hardworking in school. In short, the endeavor paid in school   determine the competitiveness of a person and the competitiveness of a person   is a decisive factor for his career.
例子論證的方法問題前面想說的是雇傭者在乎的是能力，來自與努力學習的能力，后面論證方法可以是強調(diào)的是沒有努力學習英語，所以沒有英語的能力，然后再來一個遞進及時谷歌也不能夠幫助他，你的論證是因為谷歌怎么樣，強調(diào)的重點不對，另外后面可以說一下只有自己有會英語，那么才能有能力勝任工作就可以了，一定記得圍繞一點說
 
  One can also這里有邏輯標志詞 cultivate several valuable characters in the process of   hardworking. For instance, the one who studied hard in school will be   fearless of difficulties, a character that no employer detests. Generally,   there are many complex problems that make no sense to the students in Math,   however, the hardworking students have no choice   but rack their brains to find the solutions. “別無選擇”感覺是沒辦法了而不是能動性的，所以換一個表達，表達的是努力學習的學生會選擇去絞盡腦汁客服難題，再加一個“所以他們有一個克服困難的精神“In this way, when they face the obstacles in the future job, they   will also be adamant until the problems get solved.
 
  “綜上所述“邏輯連接詞, in conclusion Admittedly,   there are merits for cultivating a good sense to deal with others, like   avoiding a lot of frictions and flatter the seniors more easily, thus get   promoted more rapidly. But I still convince that studying hard enough in   school and build a solid and wide knowledge bank is really an acumen choice.

各項細評：

針對問題最大的一點給出修改建議：

1. 缺少邏輯連接詞注意加入連接詞
2. 論證上注意上文的批注

給出解決方案：

1. 積累短語，注意固定短語搭配。

2. 從句的使用有雜糅的情況，多練習并且注意

3. 論述過程中一定要圍繞一點說，重點別偏了，積累范文的論證思路

附批改原圖：
  

經(jīng)過這樣的研究和問題的分析，對托福寫作有一定的感覺了吧，托福寫作是一個非常容易得分的題目，希望大家在中作文人人都拿滿分！想了解更多托�？荚嚨馁Y訊，可以關(guān)注公眾號：新通出國考培~