雅思寫作：教師指點(diǎn)劍9范文解析

劍9 text3  task2

考官范文分析

Some people sy that the best way to improve public health is by inmcreasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. 

Discuss both these views and give your opinion. 

該題目是屬于2選1的題目（討論雙方的觀點(diǎn)給出自己的觀點(diǎn)），因此題目必須對(duì)正反雙方的觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行分析，但是很多考生可能在考試的時(shí)候會(huì)注重與論證前者的觀點(diǎn)而因想不出后者觀點(diǎn)中具體的方法有哪些，忽略了后者的論證。但其實(shí)已經(jīng)在雅思寫作的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中TA這一項(xiàng)上 （任務(wù)的完成度）失分，即是部分離題。其次，題目出出現(xiàn)的the best 這個(gè)絕對(duì)詞，一般過(guò)于絕對(duì)的詞邏輯上都存在漏洞。

A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrining trend. One possible soultion is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more active lifestyle.

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Advocates 名詞 of this believe that today’s sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interest: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.

本段對(duì)于第一種觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行討論。指出目前的生活狀態(tài)是缺乏運(yùn)動(dòng)，工作壓力大。如果有可以方便前往的運(yùn)動(dòng)中心，也許也會(huì)有更多的人去運(yùn)動(dòng)，而不是每晚對(duì)著電腦。

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sport is not universal , and additional facilities might simple attract the already fit, not those who most need them.Physical acticity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as lcoal councial has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.

本段討論觀點(diǎn)2 其他的增進(jìn)公眾健康的方式。理由是：不是每個(gè)人都喜歡運(yùn)動(dòng)，增加運(yùn)動(dòng)設(shè)施的數(shù)量只會(huì)吸引到已經(jīng)健康的運(yùn)動(dòng)愛(ài)好者，而不是真正需要這些設(shè)備的人。所以其他方式如在社區(qū)安裝健身器具，會(huì)有更多父母帶孩子來(lái)一起健身。

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As well as physical activiey,high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these contribute to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to the bus stop than to the car.

方法2 鼓勵(lì)人們對(duì)于高熱量的食品，煙草和酒類征收懲罰性的高賦稅。

In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.

結(jié)尾 給出了自己的觀點(diǎn)

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