托福寫(xiě)作句子優(yōu)美,用詞得當(dāng),立意鮮明,分?jǐn)?shù)自然就會(huì)高。考生在平時(shí)閱讀英語(yǔ)材料和練習(xí)寫(xiě)作時(shí),要注意英語(yǔ)表達(dá)和漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)的差別,切忌在托福寫(xiě)作中硬套漢語(yǔ)思維。
托福寫(xiě)作句子優(yōu)美,用詞得當(dāng),立意鮮明,分?jǐn)?shù)自然就會(huì)高。但由于我們深受中國(guó)式教育,在托福寫(xiě)作運(yùn)用的也大多是中國(guó)思維。在托福寫(xiě)作中硬套入中國(guó)思維,所表達(dá)出來(lái)的詞句就帶有明顯的中國(guó)式英語(yǔ),這在托?荚囍惺侨f(wàn)萬(wàn)不能的?忌谄綍r(shí)閱讀英語(yǔ)材料和練習(xí)寫(xiě)作時(shí),要注意英語(yǔ)表達(dá)和漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)的差別,切忌在托福寫(xiě)作中硬套漢語(yǔ)思維。
1、Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way.
Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.
Agree to say that表達(dá)中式化,只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改為the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(學(xué)校給我們提供了獲取書(shū)本知識(shí)的最好方法)更為恰當(dāng) ,同樣,后面的the best surviving techniques改為the best method for acquiring common sense...;加上street marks(街頭智慧)給文章的托福詞匯增添色彩。
2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wifes and daughter.
Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.
原句中studying education and communication的說(shuō)法中式化,不符合英語(yǔ)的表述,應(yīng)該為studying,educating themselves。除了詞語(yǔ)表達(dá),此句中還存在其他問(wèn)題,如名詞單復(fù)數(shù)的使用:不是提高他們的角色,而 是提高他們自身以扮演好母親角色。
還有,女性不止一個(gè)人。很多人都在扮演母親角色,role和mother應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù),故將improve their role as a mother改為improve themselves in their roles as mother;同樣,為保持一致,wife和daughter也可用復(fù) 數(shù),原文中wife的復(fù)數(shù)寫(xiě)法有誤,應(yīng)該是wives。
3、Original:If you can get the point of communication by watching TV,will you...?
Revised:If one can learn about communicating from television,will you...?
原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表達(dá)不清,讓人難以理解,應(yīng)該是指“從電視上學(xué)習(xí)交際”:learn about communicating from television.
看到這些考生們肯定知道自己錯(cuò)在哪里了,同學(xué)們練習(xí)新托福寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)多聽(tīng)一些外國(guó)本土的英語(yǔ)文章, 在托福寫(xiě)作考試中避免這樣的錯(cuò)誤出現(xiàn)。
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