雅思寫作中如何用有限詞匯量完成更好的文章

雅思寫作的學習大致分為三個階段：1. 學習寫作技巧;2. 積累寫作語言; 3. 真題模擬訓練。第一個階段一般由老師帶領完成;第二個階段，自主性比較強的烤鴨可以獨立完成，反之則還是需要老師帶領。而第三個階段的主體主要就是烤鴨們自己啦，那么如何將自己寫完的文章在自己詞匯范圍內(nèi)有效提升呢?老師精心編排了這個學生習作的修改過程，希望對自主學習的烤鴨們有些助益。
　　p.s.所謂能力范圍內(nèi)的詞匯是指，看見認識但自己不一定會用，或者壓根就會但是沒想到要用的，而絕非生詞。
　　例題：(12-01-14)
　　Nowadays, it is widely accepted that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in a job.
　　To what extent do you agree or disagree?
　　開頭段：
　　學生習作：
　　At present, more and more people think the key to success in a job is not only good qualifications, but also social skills. I completely agree with that they both are very essential to workers who want to be successful.
　　教師修改：
　　(1) At present，——具體化——The modern society with intensive competition
　　(2) more and more people think the key to success in a job——詞匯升級——increasing numbers of people to think about the key to success in one’s occupation.
　　(3) not only good qualifications, but also social skills. I completely agree with that they both are very essential to workers who want to be successful——詞匯升級+句子簡化——not only good qualifications but social skills as well contribute to an employer who desires to be successful
　　完整版呈現(xiàn)：
　　The modern society with intensive competition causes increasing numbers of people to think about the key to success in one’s occupation. Personally, not only good qualifications but social skills as well contribute to an employer who desires to be successful.
　　主體段1:
　　學生習作：
　　Having good qualifications is necessary. Good qualifications include education background, which can prove that you have got good education and internship experience，which help you to earn a company’s trust. What is more, talent like a diploma in a wide-ranged competition, which also means you are intelligent and you are adequate for a job. The competition of finding a job is going more severe, a good qualification gives you a short cut to find a job first, and then you can start going to be successful in it. Actually, good qualifications play a significant role on the way you are going to succeed in a job.
　　教師修改：
　　(1) having good qualifications is necessary——具體化——Undeniably, having good qualifications is necessary (both in finding and adapting to a certain position).
　　(2) Good qualifications include education background, which can prove that you have got good education and internship experience，which help you to earn a company’s trust.——結構比較散亂，看不清主旨+詞匯升級——Good qualifications include education background that can prove one’s academic level and internship experience that can indicate the person’s skills to some degree, which will facilitate an applicant earning a company’s trust immediately.
　　(3) What is more, talent like a diploma in a wide-ranged competition, which also means you are intelligent and you are adequate for a job. ——語法結構用得比較散+簡化+具體化——What is more, (具體化while working), other talents (簡化with a certification in a wide-ranged competition) also mean(簡化you are intelligent and adequate)( 具體化for more tasks in a job), (具體化thus providing you with more opportunities to show and behave yourself).
　　(4) The competition of finding a job is going more severe, a good qualification gives you a short cut to find a job first, and then you can start going to be successful in it.——用詞不當，表意不清——鏈接Obviously, a good qualification gives one a shortcut (具體化to find a suitable job first), and then (信息重組bring about a stage to access to achieve goals in career), under the severe competitive circumstances.

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