雅思口語(yǔ)：圣誕節(jié)小笑話(huà)

The thief and the judge
　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官與小偷
　　那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴？”他問(wèn)。
　　“采購(gòu)圣誕節(jié)物品過(guò)早。”被告答。
　　“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購(gòu)物多早？”
　　在商店開(kāi)門(mén)之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。

Jesus's Telly
　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
　　"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
　　"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.

耶穌的電視機(jī)
　　圣誕節(jié)時(shí)孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫(huà)一張耶穌誕生像。最后這件藝術(shù)品被陳列出來(lái)供父母鑒賞。
　　他們對(duì)耶穌誕生后睡的馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示贊賞。
　　“可是那個(gè)角落里是什么？”媽媽問(wèn)。
　　“噢，那是他們的電視機(jī)，”孩子回答說(shuō)。

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么？
　　答案：鋤地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。）

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill 　　lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門(mén)還未開(kāi)前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰(shuí)會(huì)將它撿起？
　　答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦！為什么？因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾�道另外兩者并不存在�?/span>

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