【教師解讀】10.18托福真題文章解析

It is important for everyone to know about what’s happening all around the world even though the events have not affect on our daily life.

Analysis:

At first glance, the topic seems to be a tough one to get started with. Especially for those students who are not quite concerned about the news around the world, the essay they completed in half an hour might not be satisfying even for themselves due to the lack of details. But if a second view was taken, it would provide a wider perspective for them when they noticed the word “everyone”. Therefore, a detailed debate on whether people from all walks should pay attention to the world news will be easier to carry on.

以上是涂老師個人寫的題目分析，如果你也是拿到題目，抓破頭皮都想不出來觀點(diǎn)，那不妨多讀幾遍題目，沒有思路的時候讀題，認(rèn)真看清每一個要點(diǎn)，分析題目的重點(diǎn)或者突破口才是真正能寫一篇好作文的開始。

Sample Essay:

If we take a close look at what people are searching on Google recently, it would be of no difficulty to find “Ebola” to be the one that goes way beyond the other keywords searched in terms of search counts. TV news about it are all over the air and reports are all over the papers, but it is nevertheless true that there are still a large portion of people in no awareness of this disease, let alone the public attention on presidential elections or suicidal bombing that happen regularly in Central Asia. Actually to a very large extend, as I believe, there’s no need for everyone to be informed of the things happening all over the world. In the following aspects, my viewpoints would be explained in details.

這位同學(xué)的開頭還是寫的很不錯的。他采取了另外一只方式開頭，而不是直接切題。通過熱點(diǎn)話題開頭肯定是一個吸引人眼球的方式，同時，他的句式變換也是大家需要學(xué)習(xí)的。比如，這里的it is nevertheless true that， let alone 等等。詞匯的運(yùn)用方面，也沒有用詞的不準(zhǔn)確性和錯誤的地方。各位同學(xué)當(dāng)然可以把這里的這個開頭的方式納入自己的作文中，從google搜索的排名引出熱點(diǎn)話題，再到要討論的點(diǎn)，不過大家一定要注意的是，前往不要生搬硬套，對于引入到話題的過渡是非常起重要的，不過，對于這樣一篇文章，大家還是需要注意時間的分配。

News about warfare and new epidemics that is happening on the other half of the earth would inevitably lead to chaos if broadcasted all over the country to increase public attention. Terrorism rouse from sheer pursuit for the interest of power and wealth, and it will find whatever reason to launch on its operations. Oftentimes, the terrorists or the cynics would target on those news that would  easily generate fear in public and then twist them, because what follows is what they want - panic. Just like what happened in the near history when a country-wide scale of boycott on Japanese products has lost control and eventually deteriorated into a social chaos of smashing Japanese cars and looting Japanese shops and restaurants. Although the local police has ceased the event from getting worse, the results was distressing.

這一段落寫的語言確實(shí)是上乘之作，還是與很多可取的地方的，但是對于新聞媒體導(dǎo)致社會不穩(wěn)定這一塊的論證還是不夠詳細(xì)，在抵制日貨的那個例子上，也需要再斟酌一下，涂老師個人覺得，還是把問題寫的更細(xì)節(jié)一些會好一些，并且這篇文章有一個致命的問題在于，作者對于這個例子有一個想當(dāng)然的問題在于，抵制日貨并不等于文章最開始觀點(diǎn)句所討論的warefare和epidemics，所以有些偏題，如果改成國家對于非洲流行病的報(bào)道導(dǎo)致社會不穩(wěn)定，導(dǎo)致恐怖事件和商家欺騙，這就會好很多。當(dāng)然，這也是很多同學(xué)喜歡犯的毛病， 很多同學(xué)在論述的時候，通常會在寫例子的時候出現(xiàn)直接擺例子或者例子寫偏題的情況，所以涂老師建議大家，在大家的寫作完成之后，一定要看看自己有沒有寫偏題，邏輯的論證是否完整。不過，這一段同樣存在寫的太長的問題，雖然涂老師有些學(xué)生在考試的時候可以打到480個詞，但是涂老師還是建議大家，控制時間，350-410詞是比較合理的范圍。

另外，第二個觀點(diǎn)如下，大家可以嘗試著對這觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行展開，當(dāng)然，一定要記住對于我們剛說的要點(diǎn)的把握哦！

It is time-consuming for any individual to even just scan the news from all fields.

如果大家有什么好的段落，可以發(fā)給我，我們下期會揭曉哪位同學(xué)寫的最好了，我的郵箱是，歡迎投稿。

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