新通教師李浩托福滿分范文詳解

這篇托福題目是：If you could meet a famous entertainer or athlete, who would that be, and why? 如果你可以遇見一位著名的演繹者或者運(yùn)動(dòng)員，你想見誰，并且闡述為什么。從題目的理解上，首先要注意關(guān)鍵詞，entertainer或者athlete，所以考生把人物選定為singer, dancer, performer, 或者像Kobe Brant, David backham這樣的運(yùn)動(dòng)明星都是可以的。但不能選定自己的家人或者朋友這樣的身邊人。

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滿分作文開篇是這樣的：

If given the chance to meet a famous entertainer or athlete, I would definitely choose Norah Jones, winner of 8 Grammy Awards in 2003. 開頭簡潔，標(biāo)新立異。首先在選材上，作者沒有選用比如邁克杰克遜，喬丹，劉翔這些大家耳熟能詳?shù)�不夠心想的明星，而是舉了一個(gè)新穎但是同樣著名的，曾獲8項(xiàng)格萊美大獎(jiǎng)的美國爵士歌手，諾拉瓊斯，能夠吸引考官的眼球，讓人眼前一亮，并有興趣去品讀考生自己的理由。在語言組織上，if given the chance to do…I would do 考生一上來就用了一個(gè)較有難度的語法點(diǎn)，過去分詞做狀語。這樣的結(jié)構(gòu)比簡單的if引導(dǎo)的狀語從句更為新穎華麗。考生自己可以利用這樣的句型來練習(xí)，比如If give the chance to go back to campus, I would put time in its utmost value. 如果給我一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)回到校園，我會(huì)最大限度的利用時(shí)間。另外在用詞上，definitely這一副詞的使用，表明了考生內(nèi)心的對(duì)此題目的自信。這樣的開篇清爽自然，毫無贅述，一目了然。

第二段如下：

新道通衢,通達(dá)新紀(jì)==》  

In the first place, as an amateur in jazz music, I would like to ask her for some tips in jazz performance. Since I first heard her voice over the radio, I have been deeply attracted by her unique voice, a wonderful mixture of ease, leisure, laziness, a bit of everything together. I’ve always been wondering how to effectively convey my feelings through my voice. A talk with Norah Jones might hopefully give me some inkling and teach me how to make my songs sing for my soul. 正文第一句話直接闡述考生的個(gè)人理由，as an amateur in jazz music, I would like to ask her for some tips in jazz performance. 也就是想要與諾拉瓊斯請(qǐng)教爵士音樂的知識(shí)。第一句見主題的方式，讓考官能夠迅速捕捉考生的思路。接下來娓娓道來為什么希望向諾拉瓊斯來請(qǐng)教，因?yàn)榭忌�自從從收音機(jī)中聽到諾拉瓊斯的聲音，就被她獨(dú)特的嗓音深深吸引。在這一段中，考生細(xì)致的描述充分展現(xiàn)了考生的詞匯量�？纯忌�是如何用一系列的排比，一連串的同位語來描述諾拉瓊斯獨(dú)特的嗓音的：a wonderful mixture of ease, leisure, laziness, a bit of everything together.一種混合著放松，閑適，慵懶，沒點(diǎn)感覺都有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的美妙的結(jié)合。這一系列描述真實(shí)細(xì)膩，仿佛考官也能聽到這樣的聲音。

新通教育 李浩