托福寫作標(biāo)準(zhǔn)范文一：Change about my hometown

Topic：Change about my hometown

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

參考分析：

改變其環(huán)境，因?yàn)橐粋�(gè)好的環(huán)境會(huì)使人們更加快樂、更加健康、更加有效率。

作文：

一個(gè)重要的改變就是改變環(huán)境，讓它變的更好：

（1）環(huán)境好能改善人的身體健康，很多人因?yàn)榄h(huán)境而生��；

（2）環(huán)境好了，吸引更多的游客來旅游；

（3）環(huán)境好能夠促進(jìn)經(jīng)濟(jì)發(fā)展，吸引更多的商人來投資；

（3）建造工廠，贏利后，就可以向當(dāng)?shù)卣�府貢獻(xiàn)稅收，政府可以利用這些錢改善社區(qū)的服務(wù)。

If I could change one important thing about my hometown, it would be air pollution problem, and I will give the following reasons to explain why I want to solve the problem.（虛擬語氣，上來就直接用假設(shè)，假設(shè)的好處是為了提出一個(gè)新的觀點(diǎn)，不過似乎有模板的感覺，開頭有點(diǎn)少，可以再敘述一下change的原因，現(xiàn)狀，所以我們需要change）

The first and most important reason is that I hope that my hometown can become a beautiful city. As an old industrial city, my hometown has made a great deal of contribution（做出巨大貢獻(xiàn)）for the country’s economic development. At a result（結(jié)果是）, the natural environment of the city has been badly damaged. The forest has disappeared; the mountains have become bald, and the most awful thing is that the air quality becomes more and more worsen. People seldom see the blue sky during most time of year.

Another reason why I want to change my hometown’s air pollution situation is that the city’s development needs clean and tidy environment to attract investors.（投資者）Nowadays people have come to know that the city’s environment, which is so called “software facility of the city”,（環(huán)境是城市的軟設(shè)施）plays an important role in the city’s future. For example, due to the fact that the environment of the city is very poor, many local students who pursue（追趕）their study out of the city would rather find the a job in other cities than coming back to their hometown after they graduated.（城市環(huán)境不好，年輕人出去學(xué)習(xí)就不愿意回來了，就像我們出國留學(xué)，外面都是好風(fēng)光，回來看到烏云籠罩的城市也會(huì)覺得很不舒服一樣的，這個(gè)理由很實(shí)際。）

In addition, nowadays people have paid more and more attention to their health. If the air pollution problem cannot be solved as quickly as possible, people’s requirement for a healthy body will never be realized.

In my mind, changing air pollution will apparently be my first choice if I can change one important thing about my hometown. Fortunately people in my hometown are gradually aware of the serious problem and start doing something about it.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：這篇文章是一篇比較標(biāo)準(zhǔn)格式化的作文，沒有太多形式多樣的變化，但是格式段落清晰，相信也給考官留下了較好的印象。對(duì)于寫作水平不是很高的同學(xué)，這就是你們的學(xué)習(xí)目標(biāo)，不需要有太華麗的語言，先保證把話說明白，句子不出錯(cuò)誤，這樣好歹拿到一個(gè)fair，然后再渲染文字，用好的句型奪考官的眼球，加油！

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