雅思7分作文范文實(shí)例及分析

學(xué)個(gè)雅思去劍橋耍耍吧

對(duì)于大多數(shù)學(xué)生來(lái)說(shuō)，要寫(xiě)出雅思7分作文貌似是比登天還難。大多學(xué)生在雅思寫(xiě)作上能取得6分已經(jīng)實(shí)屬不易。但是，許多名校，或者有名的專業(yè)，對(duì)于雅思寫(xiě)作的要求，尤其是對(duì)于要去讀研究生的同學(xué)們來(lái)說(shuō)，要求達(dá)到7分。“雅思7分作文是如何練成的呢？”，這就是我們這次來(lái)探討的問(wèn)題。

大家先來(lái)看一個(gè)學(xué)生（Luna）雅思7分作文，后面我會(huì)根據(jù)雅思寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，對(duì)這篇范文做出分析。這道題目是社會(huì)類大作文上課后的作業(yè)。
　　題目：Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

學(xué)生雅思7分作文范文：

In contemporary society, an increasing number of people swarm into big cities to search for job opportunities, giving rise to an acute housing shortage, which causes a series of severe consequences. High housing prices, for example, forces house buyers to pinch and scrape for the sake of down payment, which vastly leads to decline in people’s living standard.雅思7分作文范文

Therefore, some people urge that only with the help of the government can this problem be solved.It is definitely true that government, as servants of people, should stand out to work out a proper way to cope with this situation. With so much illegal property speculation, government plays an irreplaceable role in strengthening regulation and oversight of the real estate market.雅思7分作文范文

Making several policies such as stabilizing housing prices and providing financial subsidies is a good choice though, there are still other options available for the rest social groups.In the first place, I believe, property developers should be responsible for today’s real estate bubble. It is their excessive pursuit of maximum profit that pushes up housing prices, multiplying the pressure of house buyers.

Hence, property developers should respond positively to national policies and build up more economically affordable houses for wage-earners. Secondly, housing consumers also should be hard-working, only if they have a strong desire to do better can they get promoted for higher salaries.

To sum up, government’s intervention is necessary but not absolute. With joint effort made by property developers and housing consumers, government’s policy can work the best.  

雅思7分作文范文分析——Task response（任務(wù)完成度）

在內(nèi)容和扣題上面來(lái)說(shuō)，Luna同學(xué)充分得利用了自己的商學(xué)知識(shí)，在“專業(yè)” 的角度上給出了非常深入的剖析。對(duì)于如何解決大城市的房屋緊缺問(wèn)題，她給出了：
　　1、政府確實(shí)可以做到通過(guò)對(duì)非法房地產(chǎn)的監(jiān)控strengthening regulation of the real estate market，穩(wěn)定房?jī)r(jià)，提供財(cái)務(wù)支持stabilizing housing prices and providing financial subsidies。
　　2、房地產(chǎn)開(kāi)發(fā)商應(yīng)該負(fù)責(zé)，去建造經(jīng)濟(jì)適用房build up more economically affordable houses for wage-earners.
　　3、這個(gè)消費(fèi)者應(yīng)該要努力工作，從自身角度出發(fā)解決問(wèn)題should be hard-working。 雖然在細(xì)節(jié)論證有欠缺，但是已經(jīng)非常專業(yè)有力度。符合7分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。

雅思7分作文范文分析——Coherence and cohesion（論證嚴(yán)密度方面）

大體文章的邏輯性非常清晰。開(kāi)頭引入話題， 第二段正面講政府的作用， 第三段反面論證房地產(chǎn)開(kāi)發(fā)商和個(gè)人的作用，最后結(jié)尾號(hào)召需要共同努力解決問(wèn)題，辯證有邏輯。那么cohesive device 邏輯連接詞的合理運(yùn)用也處處可見(jiàn)。
　　比如，在第三段中做觀點(diǎn)陳列的時(shí)候，In the first place Hence, Secondly， 都可以清晰得羅列出觀點(diǎn)和句式關(guān)系。最值得注意的是，每段的都有明確的topic sentence即中心句子，準(zhǔn)確明白得點(diǎn)出觀點(diǎn)。完美得在邏輯方面得到7分。

雅思7分作文范文分析——Vocabulary（詞匯）

在文章中出現(xiàn)的標(biāo)紅的字體，都是Luna在這篇文章中出色而地道的詞匯運(yùn)用。兩點(diǎn)重要：
　　1、a sufficient range of vocabulary 就拿“加強(qiáng)”這個(gè)單詞，文章中出現(xiàn)了很多不同的表達(dá)，eg: push up, build up, multiply, strengthen , develop, promote.充分表現(xiàn)variety. 
　　2、less common lexical items. 專業(yè)詞匯不言而喻，比如首付down payment, 經(jīng)濟(jì)適用房， economically affordable houses. 還有地道的“pinch and scrape” 節(jié)衣縮食。

雅思7分作文范文分析——Sentence structure （句式）

是否有a variety of complex sentence structure 并且使用正確呢？來(lái)看畫(huà)線部分的句子。開(kāi)頭段中，兩個(gè)非限制定語(yǔ)從句。 第二段開(kāi)頭就是主語(yǔ)從句，帶有著靈活的插入語(yǔ)解構(gòu)，簡(jiǎn)潔有力度。第三段，強(qiáng)調(diào)句式和倒裝句開(kāi)始人品完全爆發(fā)。值得肯定的是，全文的句子長(zhǎng)句組合一定會(huì)有插入成分，非常靈活。這是最能體現(xiàn)出該生功力的地方。句式7分！

總結(jié)：雅思7分作文是要求很高的，對(duì)考生的知識(shí)面以及英文程度都有很高的要求。尤其是在考場(chǎng)上面，有這樣的表現(xiàn)尤為難得。但是雅思7分作文并不是遙不可及，當(dāng)然，只有持之以恒的練習(xí)才能達(dá)到成果。 Only by consistent practice can perfect be achieved. 

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